Stress

Everybody gets stressed from time to time. Different people feel stress in different ways. Some ways of dealing with stress - like screaming, hitting someone, or punching a wall - don't solve much. But other ways, like talking to someone you trust, can start you on the road to solving your problem or at least feeling better.

1. Get support. When you need help, reach out to the people who care about you. Talk to a trusted adult, such as a parent, other relative, a school counselor, an adult in the Afternoons R.O.C.K. in Indiana program or a coach. And don't forget about your friends; they might be dealing with the same thing as you.

2. Don't freak out! It's easy to let your feelings go wild when you're upset. Notice your feelings. Name them - for example, "I am so angry!" And find a way to express them. Listen to music, write in a journal, play with a pet, go for a walk or a bike ride, or do whatever helps you shift to a better mood.

3. Don't take it out on yourself. Sometimes when kids are stressed and upset they take it out on themselves without even realizing it. Remember that there are always people to help you. Be kind to yourself and ask for the helping hand to get you through the tough situation you're facing.

4. Try to solve the problem once you are ready. After you're calm and you have support from adults and friends, it's time to get down to business. You need to figure out what the problem is. Even if you can't solve all of it, maybe you can begin by solving a piece of it.

5. Be positive - most stress is temporary. It may not seem like it when you're in the middle of a stressful situation, but stress does go away, often when you figure out the problem and start working on solving it. Ah! It feels so good when the stress is gone!

There are other things that you may have to deal with in your neighborhood like violence, bullying and they can be really scary. Again, it really can help to talk with your parents or other caring adults about the stuff you are facing, but hard to talk about these things. Below are some tips that can help you talk with adults about big issues like violence, bullying, or racism that may be affecting you or your friends.

• Use TV or movie (see the movie list in the Media Library) as a starting point about that issue to get the conversation started. After the show, talk about the show and how it relates to you.
  
• Ask your parents about how things were when they were your age to start a conversation on a specific topic. For example, try "Hey, did the kids in your school tease the younger kids a lot?" "Did you get pressured to do things that you thought were wrong but did them anyway because you were afraid?"
  
• Write a letter. If you know you need your parents to know how something is affecting you, but you are too scared or embarrassed or whatever to tell them face to face, try writing them a letter. That way, you can say exactly what you want to say.

Sometimes you just need to be heard, not given a solution. If you are 100% sure you do not need help with a situation, but just need to talk about it, ask your parents if they'd be willing to just listen and not give you "answers" - sometimes, we find our own answers best if someone else will listen as we work through things aloud. Do know, though, that if your situation could be dangerous, your parents and the adults in your life will want to find a solution. Helping you stay safe is their job!

Ever feel like your parents are totally out of touch with your reality? Have you ever actually given them a chance to experience your reality? Your parents can't help being out of touch if you don't ever let them see what your life is like. Invite them to hang out with you and your friends for a few hours: talk about the kind of stuff you really talk about with your friends. But set some ground rules so that everybody feels comfortable. You might be surprised---your friends might actually think your parents are cool!

For more info on this check out Students Against Violence Everywhere (SAVE) and KidsHealth